I’m in a weird place.
If I’m presented with the opportunity to have sex, I want to take it. So badly. However, I’m ready for it to be something more than just fucking. I don’t want a “friend with benefits” anymore. I want something deeper. I want that cutesy, lovey-dovey crap. I want to pass out in someone’s arms; I want to wake up next to them and spend all day in bed with them.
Meh.. It’s just so hard to say no to good sex though.
I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when plans are made, but not followed through. I do understand that things come up and that life happens, but I cant help if I get aggravated; its frustrating.
I’m honestly not sure what to do anymore. It feels like every time I admit to myself that I may have feelings for someone, it ends up going to shit a month later. This whole situation makes me feel like a teenager, overthinking and getting frustrated with remedial things.
I think I’m just going to throw in the towel; if it is just me overthinking, then hurray. But if the same situation I always find myself in, then I’m bowing out now so I don’t get hurt.